I am reading a book where the author doesn't take full advantage of showing what's going on in the main character's head and so some of his actions seem abrupt and out-of-character. Here's an example of what I'm talking about:
Sarah stomped up to Rebekah, who was smiling and holding another book clutched against her chest. Sarah scowled and threw the current book Rebekah had loaned her to the ground. "This book was horrible. I swear, I'll never read another book by that author. In fact, you couldn't pay me enough to read another one!"
Rebekah said hesitantly, "Oh, I'm sorry. I brought the next book in the series with me, but I guess you don't want it."
Sarah felt a surge of anger. "Of course I want it. The book's right here, so of course I'll read it."
You're left wondering why Sarah suddenly changed her mind and why she's reacting so strongly. Or, if you're like me, you're feeling a little wary of Sarah and wondering if she's insane. ;)
I expect the author knows a perfectly sensible reason why her main character acted the way she did but forgot to let the readers into his head so we also know. Here's an example of how adding motivation can help make an about-face scene like this make sense:
Sarah stomped up to Rebekah, who was smiling and holding another book clutched against her chest. Sarah scowled. She'd rather liked the book Rebekah had just loaned her, but she didn't like how her friend was getting into the habit of forcing books on her and she wasn't going to allow it to happen again.
She threw her book to the ground. "This book was horrible. I swear, I'll never read another book by that author. In fact, you couldn't pay me enough to read another one!"
Rebekah said hesitantly, "Oh, I'm sorry. I brought the next book in the series with me, but I guess you don't want it."
Sarah felt a surge of anger at Rebekah for picking this moment to finally bring a book she did want to read. "Of course I want it. The book's right here, so of course I'll read it."
Sarah's still not a very nice character, but at least we understand why she's acting the way she is. So, authors, be careful not to throw an unexpected emotional reaction at the reader. Make sure to get into the character's head and explain why they felt that way so the emotional reaction makes sense.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Think of the Reader
In The Writer magazine, August 1989 issue, Piers Anthony wrote:
Debbie's thoughts:
By tapping into those desires and dreams, the writer can capture the reader's interest: his desire to see justice done, his longing to feel he can control of life in some small way even when it seems out of control, etc. The more the characters struggle with problems that everyone struggles with, the more the reader can relate to the problems and will read on to see how the hero deals with them.
Likewise, the most effective horror stories tap into the things we all fear: the unknown, loss of control, etc.
The writer must know his readers...their hearts and dreams.
Debbie's thoughts:
By tapping into those desires and dreams, the writer can capture the reader's interest: his desire to see justice done, his longing to feel he can control of life in some small way even when it seems out of control, etc. The more the characters struggle with problems that everyone struggles with, the more the reader can relate to the problems and will read on to see how the hero deals with them.
Likewise, the most effective horror stories tap into the things we all fear: the unknown, loss of control, etc.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Avoiding "as you know" Explanations
In The Writer magazine, December 1989 issue, Jeffrey Sweet wrote an article on "An Object Lesson for Playwrights." In it, he writes:
He gives an example of a man stopping a boy as he goes out the door. The man demands to know what the boy has in his hand, finds out it's a key, wants to know where the boy is going, and then demands the boy give him the key or he'll ground him for another week. From the example, it's obvious the man is the boy's strict father, the key is to the family car, and the boy is currently grounded and is resentful about it. All of this was conveyed by how the two characters interacted around the key instead of by the author explaining the situation to the reader.
You can often dramatize what is going on between your characters through the way they negotiate over an object.
He gives an example of a man stopping a boy as he goes out the door. The man demands to know what the boy has in his hand, finds out it's a key, wants to know where the boy is going, and then demands the boy give him the key or he'll ground him for another week. From the example, it's obvious the man is the boy's strict father, the key is to the family car, and the boy is currently grounded and is resentful about it. All of this was conveyed by how the two characters interacted around the key instead of by the author explaining the situation to the reader.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Keeping the Reader
In The Writer magazine, December 1989 issue, Phyllis A. Whitney wrote an article on "Let's Do It Over." In it, she writes:
She suggests starting the story with the heroine in a conflict that she cares deeply about and that she must take some action in or do something about. And make the conflict something the reader can care about.
Next, check your suspense level. She asks, "Is everything too out-in-the-open, too obvious or predictable?" If so, then the reader is less likely to continue reading. Add some mystery to the story.
If your characters feel nothing strongly, neither will your reader....The more your characters stand to lose or gain, and the more they care, the more powerful the effect on the reader.
She suggests starting the story with the heroine in a conflict that she cares deeply about and that she must take some action in or do something about. And make the conflict something the reader can care about.
Next, check your suspense level. She asks, "Is everything too out-in-the-open, too obvious or predictable?" If so, then the reader is less likely to continue reading. Add some mystery to the story.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Ending the Story
In The Writer magazine, October 1990 issue, Karleen Bradford wrote an article on "Do You Want to Write for Children?" In it, she writes about wrapping up the story.
[I would add that the main character doesn't always have to be the main person to solve the problem but he does have to add the critical element to the solution. For example, a child doesn't have to personally drive the sword through the evil warlord's heart as long as he somehow plays the critical part in making that action possible.]
She goes on to say that perhaps the main character only learns how to cope with the problem.
The main character's problem is solved (and always by the character himself--no intervening hand of fate, no helpful adult stepping in, no discovery that it was all a dream).
[I would add that the main character doesn't always have to be the main person to solve the problem but he does have to add the critical element to the solution. For example, a child doesn't have to personally drive the sword through the evil warlord's heart as long as he somehow plays the critical part in making that action possible.]
She goes on to say that perhaps the main character only learns how to cope with the problem.
In any case...your reader must feel, "Yes, of course, that's the only way it could possibly have ended" and even if it came as a total surprise, your reader must be satisfied [and feel positive about the ending even if it isn't a happy one].
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Wisdom Found in Fiction Books
I just finished reading Auralia's Colors by Jeffrey Overstreet. I liked this bit:
A single male and a woman married to a possessive husband have sneaked away from their work detail (their punishment for thieving). He asks her to run away with him. The man says softly,
...only to regret it when you come back to your senses.
A single male and a woman married to a possessive husband have sneaked away from their work detail (their punishment for thieving). He asks her to run away with him. The man says softly,
"You can't deny you heart anymore."
She playfully pounded on his shoulder with her fist. "But my heart's a mess, and yours is reckless. If we're true to ourselves, we're in trouble. That's what promises are for, like the promise [my husband] made me." She looked into the shadows of the trees. "They give you something to bind yourself to, so you don't get carried off on a whim."
...only to regret it when you come back to your senses.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Travel Speeds
I'm trying to collect this information in one place so it's easy for me to find. I thought I'd put it on my blog so others can also use it.
Conestoga Wagons were drawn by 4 to 8 horses and transported loads up to 7 metric tons. They averaged 15 miles a day (usually over dirt roads).
Wagon Trains averaged 12 to 16 miles a day.
Two-wheeled loaded carts pulled by two horses could travel at 5 miles per hour if the horses were switched with fresh ones once or twice each day. If the same horses were used all day every day, the wagon could travel at 4 miles per hour.
A lone traveler on foot carrying very little can walk at about 3 or 4 miles per hour. How long he can keep it up depends on his endurance. A marathon runner can do 8 miles per hour but likely couldn't keep that up day after day.
A very fit person trained for travelling over mountain trails or through the desert can, with a heavy pack (containing food and supplies), at best do about 20 miles in one day. Without a pack, he can make about 30 miles if he hikes fast all day. An experienced hiker not trying for a record does about 2 to 3 miles per hour.
A messenger pigeon can travel 30 miles per hour normally and 60 miles per hour in a burst.
Foot soldiers averaged a pace of 3 miles per hour. The soldiers could do this carrying fairly heavy loads (their equipment and some rations). Rain and muddy roads could cut this travel rate in half (to about 1.5 miles per hour). Forced marches usually meant marching longer (which left the soldiers exhausted at the end) rather than faster.
An army has to take time each day to break camp, load tents and such into wagons, and then set up camp at the end of the march--all of which cuts into how far they can travel in a day. The larger the army, the slower it moved. The Romans, who built temporary forts every night, often travelled only 10 to 12 miles a day even when travelling along their stone roads. Smaller armies that made less-fortified camps might be able to do 16 to 22 miles a day, but that was considered a hard pace.
The cavalry could travel faster, but they generally kept to the pace of the foot soldiers or were sent ahead to the next camp site since they had to graze their horses on good grass for about 5 hours every day. The Roman cavalry, when on its own, could do 40 miles a day.
A less-organized army might average 8 miles per day for the infantry and 12 miles per day for the cavalry.
An average horse bearing an average rider with minimal equipment along a road or good, fairly flat trail can travel 3 to 4 miles per hour at a walk, 8 to 10 miles per hour at a trot, 10 to 17 miles per hour at a canter, and up to 30 miles per hour at a gallop. A horse can not keep up a canter or gallop for more than a few miles, though. Exceptional thoroughbreds can go over 40 miles per hour for a mile. Quarter horses can reach up to 50 miles per hour for a quarter of a mile. Rough terrain would slow all these rates.
How far a horse and rider could travel in a day depends on the time of year, weather, terrain, condition of the roads, load carried (rider and equipment), and condition of the horse. A fit riding horse ridden by a fantasy warrior might cover 50 to 60 miles in a day, but 30 miles would be more average. A fantasy farm boy riding an old plow horse would go even slower than that.
An endurance horse bearing a light rider with very minimal equipment can travel 100 miles in a day on a trail over rough terrain. The horse would need several short breaks (15 to 30 minutes) to rest during the ride and couldn't repeat the performance the next day. The horse mainly travels at a trot, with some walking (up hills) and some cantering (on flat areas). Keep in mind that these horses are highly fit horses specially trained for these distances. They are well-fed, healthy, and have plenty of water available. Take away any of these factors, and the horse can't travel as far.
The Pony Express was made up of smaller horses and ponies who carried 165 pounds (including rider, mail, and supplies/equipment). Ponies were changed for fresh ones every 10 to 15 miles, and riders were changed for fresh ones every 75–100 miles. The horses traveled at about 10 miles per hour, and the mail was moved an average of 250 miles in a 24-hour day. The trail was mostly one of dirt.
Riding camels can travel over 100 miles in a day. Racing camels travel an average of 20 miles per hour during 6-miles races. A camel can travel 60 miles a day across the desert carrying up to 400 pounds. Camels can carry as much as 600 pounds if loaded properly.
Conestoga Wagons were drawn by 4 to 8 horses and transported loads up to 7 metric tons. They averaged 15 miles a day (usually over dirt roads).
Wagon Trains averaged 12 to 16 miles a day.
Two-wheeled loaded carts pulled by two horses could travel at 5 miles per hour if the horses were switched with fresh ones once or twice each day. If the same horses were used all day every day, the wagon could travel at 4 miles per hour.
A lone traveler on foot carrying very little can walk at about 3 or 4 miles per hour. How long he can keep it up depends on his endurance. A marathon runner can do 8 miles per hour but likely couldn't keep that up day after day.
A very fit person trained for travelling over mountain trails or through the desert can, with a heavy pack (containing food and supplies), at best do about 20 miles in one day. Without a pack, he can make about 30 miles if he hikes fast all day. An experienced hiker not trying for a record does about 2 to 3 miles per hour.
A messenger pigeon can travel 30 miles per hour normally and 60 miles per hour in a burst.
Foot soldiers averaged a pace of 3 miles per hour. The soldiers could do this carrying fairly heavy loads (their equipment and some rations). Rain and muddy roads could cut this travel rate in half (to about 1.5 miles per hour). Forced marches usually meant marching longer (which left the soldiers exhausted at the end) rather than faster.
An army has to take time each day to break camp, load tents and such into wagons, and then set up camp at the end of the march--all of which cuts into how far they can travel in a day. The larger the army, the slower it moved. The Romans, who built temporary forts every night, often travelled only 10 to 12 miles a day even when travelling along their stone roads. Smaller armies that made less-fortified camps might be able to do 16 to 22 miles a day, but that was considered a hard pace.
The cavalry could travel faster, but they generally kept to the pace of the foot soldiers or were sent ahead to the next camp site since they had to graze their horses on good grass for about 5 hours every day. The Roman cavalry, when on its own, could do 40 miles a day.
A less-organized army might average 8 miles per day for the infantry and 12 miles per day for the cavalry.
An average horse bearing an average rider with minimal equipment along a road or good, fairly flat trail can travel 3 to 4 miles per hour at a walk, 8 to 10 miles per hour at a trot, 10 to 17 miles per hour at a canter, and up to 30 miles per hour at a gallop. A horse can not keep up a canter or gallop for more than a few miles, though. Exceptional thoroughbreds can go over 40 miles per hour for a mile. Quarter horses can reach up to 50 miles per hour for a quarter of a mile. Rough terrain would slow all these rates.
How far a horse and rider could travel in a day depends on the time of year, weather, terrain, condition of the roads, load carried (rider and equipment), and condition of the horse. A fit riding horse ridden by a fantasy warrior might cover 50 to 60 miles in a day, but 30 miles would be more average. A fantasy farm boy riding an old plow horse would go even slower than that.
An endurance horse bearing a light rider with very minimal equipment can travel 100 miles in a day on a trail over rough terrain. The horse would need several short breaks (15 to 30 minutes) to rest during the ride and couldn't repeat the performance the next day. The horse mainly travels at a trot, with some walking (up hills) and some cantering (on flat areas). Keep in mind that these horses are highly fit horses specially trained for these distances. They are well-fed, healthy, and have plenty of water available. Take away any of these factors, and the horse can't travel as far.
The Pony Express was made up of smaller horses and ponies who carried 165 pounds (including rider, mail, and supplies/equipment). Ponies were changed for fresh ones every 10 to 15 miles, and riders were changed for fresh ones every 75–100 miles. The horses traveled at about 10 miles per hour, and the mail was moved an average of 250 miles in a 24-hour day. The trail was mostly one of dirt.
Riding camels can travel over 100 miles in a day. Racing camels travel an average of 20 miles per hour during 6-miles races. A camel can travel 60 miles a day across the desert carrying up to 400 pounds. Camels can carry as much as 600 pounds if loaded properly.
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